It's been a year already!?

So I literally can not believe its been a whole year since I updated this site! Things have been beyond manic in my home life.

Last July me and my partner bought our first home together and we decided to move whilst still both working full time jobs which looking back was the worst idea ever haha!

But we coped and we have lived in our beautiful home for 7 months now and we love it!

a couple of months later in September we decided to get a beautiful Labrador puppy who certainly keeps me on my toes but I love that little puppy dog so much. Everyone thought I was insane getting a lab because of my ms but I refuse to stop doing the things I want in life because of this crappy disease.

The cherry on top was Christmas day.. my wonderful boyfriend PROPOSED!!!! Which officially upgrades him to fiancé muhahah. We are over the moon and we are getting married in September next year, I can't wait to be his wife! He has given me never ending support throughout my ms journey and I couldn't be more grateful.

Over the last year my journey has gone from bad to worse and I really haven't had any good news to share and to be honest I felt low I didn't really want to share the bad news either! But holding it in hasn't done me any good either so I am ready to share.. If anyone is reading I suppose its a bonus but if not at least I am getting things off my chest and down on paper.

SO every mri scan I have had since being diagnosed in oct 2018 has come back with new lesions and active lesions in both my brain and my spine which is huge blow! it means there is more damage in both and active damage. Despite being on Tefidera (disease modifying therapy treatment) my ms has continued to progress faster than we had hoped.

Last month I woke up with a new symptom of slurred speech I honestly sounded like i'd been shotting vodka since 9am it was awful I was so frightened. You honestly take things like speech for granted its never really on your mind you could lose it.

I ended up spending all weekend in AAU at the hospital and on the sunday had an emergency mri scan that confirmed new lesions in my brain effecting the part of my brain and deals with coordination

which is why I could hardly talk.. I cant explain how much energy mentally and physically it took just to try and form a simple sentence.

I AM SO fortunate that my speech has now returned to normal but it was a huge scare and because of my mri results we now need to take serious action with my ms treatment.

Now for me this is the hardest part! the risks of more powerful drugs and things I may have to give up without choice. I saw something another ms warrior had written and I honestly couldn't agree with it more or said it better myself!!

"its pretty mad that we go for these radical disease modifying therapy treatments knowing they are not a cure, they are only a blind leap of faith in the hope that things wont get worse"

So now I start a new journey and that journey will be on Ocrevus.. I have so many concerns and qustions about this drug and I am still waiting for my answers but I have been told we cant do nothing we need to do something because my ms is very active and progressing.. I need to get on treatment asap.

I will dedicate a separate post to Ocrevus and my feelings towards this drug and the choices I have to make and the choices me and my fiancé have had to make.

Ms is not pretty! honestly its hard on my body and mind. I wish I could change this disease but I cant so for now I have to try and cope the best I can.

If you're reading this thanks for sticking with me after a year of silence I am ready to share my journey again! If this even helps one person suffering to feel less alone then im happy!

thanks

T xox